Women value in Islam. And men responsibilities
By: Abdul Ali Faiq
As I personally believe that women rights have been vandalized, hijacked and tantalized in Afghanistan for centuries! And the procedure is going on till now. Is this not a shame? Is this not ignorance? Is this not a sin? Regretfully, our politics, kings, presidents, leaders, amers (princess) and on and on abused women rights (gender) in different manners and ways! Moreover, our religious fake parties (who are doing business in the name of religion) made a grave and unforgettable mistake .They punished women badly and savagely in the name of Islam in the course of our history. They prevent women to be an active person inside the society, they punished women because her mind is uncompleted, and they dealt with them worst than animals! Ridiculously, they made women only (machine of production). Now, it is time to reveal the fact and reality that women are equal or better than men in the eyes of Allah (SWT).
Islam in theory has given men and women equal rights in every aspects of life. Islam gives men and women equality in the idea of Creation of human beings. Concerning the idea of Creation the Qumran in Sure 4, Verse 1 states:
O mankind! reverence your Guardian-Lord Who created you from a single Person, Created, of like nature, His mate, and from them twain Scattered (like seeds) Countless men and women-Fear Allah, through Whom ye demand your mutual (rights) and (reverence) the wombs (that bore you): For Allah Ever watches over you.
In Sura 7, Verse 189 the Qur'an States:
It is He who created you from a single person, and made his mate of like nature, in order that he might dwell with her (in love).
Sura 42, Verse 11 states
(He is) the Creator of Heaven and the Earth: He has made for you pai from among yourselves...
Sura 49, Verse 13 states:
O mankind! We created you from a single (pair) of male and female, and made you into nations and tribes, that you may know each other (not that you despise each other)... And Sura 16, Verse 72 States: And Allah has made for you mates (and Companions) of your own nature... (1)
Family, society and ultimately the whole of mankind is treated by Islam on an ethical basis. Differentiation in sex is neither a credit nor a drawback for the sexes. Therefore, when we talk about status of woman in Islam it should not lead us to think that Islam has no specific guidelines, limitations, responsibilities and obligations for men. What makes one valuable and respectable in the eyes of Allah, the Creator of mankind and the universe, is neither one's prosperity, position, intelligence, physical strength nor beauty, but only one's Allah-consciousness and awareness (taqwa). However, since in the Western culture and in cultures influenced by it, there exists a disparity between men and women there is more need for stating Islam's position on important issues in a clear way.(2)
At the beginning Islam was the most revolutionary liberalization of women's rights the civilized world has ever seen. But afterwards Muslims became ignorant of this and now Muslim countries are the scene of some of the worst abuses of women's rights. As the Latin proverb says, "Corruptio optimi pessima" (When the best is corrupted, it becomes the worst). The Qur’ân expresses the same theme in Sûrat al-Tîn: "We created man in the best pattern, and later reduced him to the lowest of the low."
Think of the possibilities for liberalization based on purely Islamic sources, not taking anything from the modern West. That would be truly Islamic feminism. The origin of Islam is far more liberal and feminist than what subsequent generations made of it. Women's rights were established by the Qur’ân and the Prophet (peace be upon him), who after all loved women; we need to filter out the spurious anti-woman hadiths that were added later. Although the term feminism has developed a somewhat poisonous connotation in today's discourse, it really just means the promotion of women's God-given rights and liberties, which is to the good of everyone.
We humans are essentially spiritual souls, and true liberation would begin from that identity. It's a shame that so often in the profane modern world, which only believes in quantity, all relationships are reduced to a zero-sum game of power. If feminism becomes nothing more than a power grab—men hold power over women, so now it's women's turn to seize the power and use it against men in turn—then no one advances any further toward higher enlightenment; the contest stays on the same horizontal level, the same problems recur in new guise with no resolution.
Men may fear or distrust "feminism" if they think it means nothing more than women gaining control over them. But genuine women's liberation would be liberating for all people, men and women alike. Not an issue of who wields power over whom, but transcending that whole issue of power, lifting our consciousness to a higher plane. A woman who is truly liberated would not be stuck in that old power struggle; she would not seek to control men any more than she would accept being controlled by men. Rather, both men and women would rejoice at being freed to relate to one another as loving, spiritual beings. This is real, and most of all the Sufis have actualized it. This is what the Prophet (peace be upon him) brought, if only that original liberating spirit could be released from under the dead weight of centuries of cultural repression like "purdah", which came not from Islam, but from the concubinage of the ancient Greeks and Romans, where women had no rights and were property owned by their fathers, husbands, and slave masters, so it is nothing but jâhilîyah pretending to be Islam, while Islam established the independent, equal status of women for the first time in civilization.
Position, role and rights of women in Islam! The vast majority of people are dealing or leading women in Afghan society entirely against the principle or the foundation of our (Islam)! Just they directing women in astray and darkness of ignorance ,the overwhelming majority or 95 percent of our people misusing or simply don’t know precisely the true version of our Religion Islam .Fundamentally, Islam is a religion which gifted the women gender the glories, and precious right inside the society and give her five titles such as : Human Being , Woman ,Wife ,Responsible and Mother .
As far as we know women gender are the most valuable, precious, kind, soft emotional, helpful and motherhood creatures which gifted from Allah (SWT) to all mankind on the face of the earth .This is the most brilliant and shinny creature which give humanity a great deal of brightness and flammable energy to build and revolutionaries the society. Without women there will never be happiness and life!
As a Woman:
She should be very effectual and practical figure to the society and help her opposite (gender) man to build the society in high sophisticated form, and bring the real and obvious stabilization to the people whom are living inside the society and other activities which people and society equally need them.
As a Wife:
By getting marriage, half part of our Deen (faith) will be completed .It is logically means that when you find your eternal partners your Deen(faith) will be successfully completed. It is really a bless of Almighty Allah which gave to mankind. Prophet (s) said: "The most complete of the believers in his belief is he who perfects his manners, and the best of you in manners are those who act best towards their wives."
As a responsible:
As we strongly believe that women have more responsibilities than men in our social, historical, educational and financial life. Naturally, society without women is a hellfire on the earth, as it was exactly in pre-Islam or Taliban time. Therefore, caring the women right, freedom, respect and encouragement is the most important issue in our current time. We must not forget or ignore these natural right; otherwise, our country will face or experience another tragedy worst than Taliban regime!
As a Mother:
She should be kind, and very supportive, to grow up her children, and make them educated morally, physically, and spiritually .And grow them as perfect men as society need them! Meanwhile, the mother has a huge responsibilities which are beyond our calculation and imagination! But our people deny this philosophy and simply ignore the role of women in the society!! Imagine, if a woman is not well educated, how she helps herself and her family and her society?! A good teacher makes a good student, and a good mother makes a good child.
Praise belongs to Allah the Lord of all the worlds. Blessings and Peace on the Messenger of Allah, and on his Family and all his Companions.
Allah ordered the believers to "consort with women in kindness" (4:19) and He said: "And of His signs are this: He created for you helpmeets from yourselves that ye might find rest in them, and He ordained between you love and mercy. Lo, herein indeed are portents for folk who reflect" (30:21).
A Wife's Basic Rights Regarding Her Husband's Behaviour
NOTE: This is distinct from her other rights regarding living expenditures, housing, clothing, and education of children. And from Allah comes all success.
1. The first and worthiest condition of marriage to be fulfilled by the husband is to "keep the promise or promises he made to the wife at the time he married her." This is an order of the Prophet [salla Allahu `alayhi wa alihi wa sallam, abbr. (s)] according to the hadith: "ahaqqu al-shuruti an tufu bihi ma astahlaltum bihi min al-furuj"
2. He cannot order her to do anything that is against religion. The Prophet (s) said: "No obedience is due to creatures in disobedience of the Creator" (la ta`atan li makhluqin fi ma`siyat al-khaliq).
3. He must exercise patience and be prepared to listen to her advice in every situation. The Prophet (s) listened to the advice of his wives in matters ranging from the smallest to the greatest.
4. If she invites him to wake up and perform the late night prayer, it is praiseworthy for him to do so and vice-versa. The Prophet (s) prayed for such people: "May Allah grant mercy to a man who gets up at night and prays, and wakes up his wife, and if she refuses, he sprinkles water in her face; may Allah grant mercy to a woman who gets up at night and prays, and wakes up her husband, and if he refuses, she sprinkles water in his face."
5. He must respect her and pay attention to her needs so that she will respect him and pay attention to his.
6. He must control his passions and act in a moderate manner especially in the context of sexual intercourse. Remember that Allah has placed between you and her "friendship and mercy" (mawadda wa rahma), not the gratification of your every lust; and that the Prophet (s) advised young men to marry "because it casts down the gaze and walls up the genitals," not in order to stimulate sexual passions. The husband should habitually seek refuge in Allah before approaching his wife and say: "O Allah, ward off the Satan from us and ward him off from what you have bestowed upon us in the way of children" (allahumma jannibna al-shaytana wa jannibhu ma razaqtana). Allah has called each spouse a garment for the other (2:187), and the purpose of garments is decency. The Prophet (s) further said that he who marries for the sake of decency and modesty (`afaf), Allah has enjoined upon Himself to help him.
7. He must never ever divulge the secrets of the household and those of the married couple.
8. He must strive with sincerity to acquire her trust, and seek her welfare in all the actions that pertain to her.
9. He must treat her generously at all times. The Prophet (s) said that the best gift or charity (sadaqa) is that spent on one's wife.
10. If she works outside the house, it is praiseworthy for the husband to hire house help to relieve her from too heavy a burden. The wife's duties do not require her to feed her child, nor even to nurse it, nor to clean nor cook. It is the husband's duty to provide a nursemaid, food for older children, and servants to clean and cook. However, if the wife does those things out of mercy and love, it is a gift to the husband on her part.
11. He must avoid excessive jealousy and remember that Allah is also jealous that he himself not commit. The Prophet (s) said: "Do not be excessively jealous of your wife lest evil be hurled at her on your account" (la tukthir al-gheerata `ala ahlika fa turama bi al-su'i min ajlik) and he said: "Allah is jealous and the believer is jealous; and Allah's jealousy is that the believer should not go to that which Allah has forbidden for him" (inna Allaha yagharu wa al- mu'minu yagharu wa gheerat Allahi in ya'tiya al-mu'minu ma harrama `alayhi).
12. He must protect her honour and not place her in situations where it is compromised or belittled. The Prophet (s) said that Allah will not ever let him enter Paradise who cares little who shares his wife's privacy. This includes the husband's brother, uncle, and nephew, let alone non-related friends, neighbours, and complete strangers.
13. He must exercise patience and forgiveness in the case of disagreement or dispute, and not rush to divorce. The declaration of divorce is a grave matter indeed, and the Prophet (s) said: "Of permitted matters the most loathsome before Allah is divorce" (abgh`ad al-halal `ind Allah al-talaq). In another hadith he said that divorce is so grave that because of it Allah's throne is made to shake. He said: "The best intercession [i.e. intervention of a third party] is that which brings back together the husband and the wife." Womanizing -- divorce for the purpose of marrying another woman out of sexual attraction incurs Allah's curse according to the hadith: "Allah's curse is on the womanizing, divorcing man" (la`ana Allahu kulla dhawwaaqin mutallaaq). Finally, even in the midst of and after divorce, Allah has prescribed kindness upon the man: "(After pronouncing divorce) she must be retained in honor or released in kindness" (2:228).
For the above-mentioned reason (i.e. to prevent the quickness of divorce), in his time, Ibn Taymiyya gave the ijtihad (juridical opinion) by saying that three talaqs in one sitting constituted only one. He did this to interdict the prevalent custom of suddenly giving three talaqs, which in his time was on everyone's lips, (i.e. had become so commonplace as to be a habit). However the other four schools of fiqh had the opposite opinion in this matter.
14. He must not dwell on what he dislikes in his wife, but on what he likes.
15. The husband is not to stay away from his wife or keep his wife in a state of suspense, whether at home or abroad, for a protracted period of time except with her consent. Allah said: "Turn not away (from your wife) altogether, so as to leave her hanging. If you come to a friendly understanding and practice self-restraint, then Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Merciful" (4:129). Protracted separation (6 months or more in the Shafi`i school) without prior or subsequent arrangement with the wife, whether the husband is away willingly or unwillingly (for example due to war, imprisonment, or illness) is sufficient grounds for her to obtain divorce from the judge.
16. The Prophet (s) said: "Do not beat your wife." He also said: "Do not strike your wife in the face." The expiation for striking one's slave in the face is to set him or her free on the spot, but what expiation is there for striking one's wife? The Prophet (s) condemned the man who beats his wife in the day and then approaches her at night. And to beat her to the extent of inflicting serious injury is enough grounds for her to obtain divorce from the judge.
17. Caring for one's wife's sexual fulfilment is an obligation of religion. The Prophet (s) warned against rushing to gratify one's pleasure and forgetting that of one's wife. He also disliked that the husband should quickly withdraw from his wife afterwards, as it is a strain upon the wife. If she asks for intercourse, he should not refuse.
I am completely optimistic and keenly want to send out my message to our men fellows .We must re-start our minds and re-think rationally and intellectually about our women future, in the same time, my advice to our mothers and sisters are: to be very strong and active to obtain your rights and face the challenges! (No rights without sacrifices, and no success, without failures) .As I mentioned in my previous articles, if we ignore the half our society, whom are mostly women. It means, simply we shut down the door of our universities and educational institutions! Our religion encourages and admires to be our women well-educated figures that they can serve our society, nation and on-coming generations simultaneously.
(3) sunnah.org/msaec/articles/responsibilities_husband.htm - 11k